Pitching a Tent
by The Leopardess
Summary: Set in book three in the tent. Cold and secluded, Jacob's fantasies take an interesting turn and Edward's follow. Will Bella wake up? Jacob/Edward erotica.
1. Act 1

Act One

Jacob wrapped his arm tighter around Bella keeping her warm against the freezing winter temperature in the tent. It reminded him of holding her tightly onto a flailing motorcycle. She was too small, too inept and far too reckless to drive that thing, but still. It was hot. Motorcycles are hot.

He imagined it now. Riding behind her on a motorcycle, bumping along a rugged road with his hands on the throttle, wishing his hands and throttle were elsewhere, pressed up against her body. Bending towards her and placing warm lips against her neck.

"Oh, Jacob," she'd moan breathlessly. He would feel himself growing excited by the prospects, then look up into her face. His face, glistening in the sunlight, amber eyes staring back at him. What?

What? Thought Edward, unable to tune out Jacob's fantasy.

It's understandable that he would think about her like that, she was beautiful and he knew all to well how Jacob felt about Bella. But what was HIS face doing there? That was just plain weird.

Maybe he should just pretend that didn't happen.

Awkward.

I mean, Jacob knows I can hear him, thought Edward. Should I say something? Now he's looking at me like he thinks I should say something. Should I? No? No. Men don't talk of these things. What? Dammit, stop looking at me like that!

"Like what?" said Jacob.

"What?" said Edward.

"You said 'stop looking at me like that.' Like what?" asked Jacob.

"Nothing," said Edward listening to see if Seth was nearby, finishing a patrol round.

Crap! thought Jacob. I forgot about that. He heard me. Now focus. She's warm, and right next to me. Think of the way she ruffles her hands through my fur and smiles, caressing the side of my ear, unafraid of my wolf form. Imagining the way she would trickle kisses down my neck, further, further...

"Seriously, can you stop that!" said Edward, tersly.

"Stop what" said Jacob.

"Stop your inappropriate, weird and fucked up fantasy. There is a line."

"Well, it's no worse than what you want to do with her. Bloodsucker. At least with me she'll still be alive to enjoy it."

"I tolerate your presence with great effort right now because Bella needs you to survive this cold. But be careful Dog-Boy."

"Maybe she likes it doggy-style" Jacob whispered.

"That is something you will NEVER find out," Edward hissed.

Jacob wondered how far he could push Edward. He needed him here to keep her alive so maybe... One way to find out.

Jacob imagined Bella's kisses again, travelling lower.

"Stop it," said Edward.

Lower...

"I said stop it."

Lower...

"That's it. I'm sure Bella will survive the night now, kindly leave."

Lower...

"KINDLY leave."

Lower...

"I mean it Jacob. Control your thoughts or I WILL take you out."

.

.

Lower...

Edward sprang to his feet and wrenched Jacobs arms away from Bella, leaving her fast asleep. He tried to restrain them, but Jacob's arms were too massive to bind. "Outside. Now." Muttered Edward through clenched teeth.

One more image passed through Jacob's mind. Sparkling lips trailing across his skin, amber eyes holding a promise of a dark night to come.

Edward found more strength and grabbed Jacob with one arm, fumbling with the tent zip with the other, then bodily threw Jacob into the snow.

"Outside, dog."

"You know you can still hear my thoughts from outside your shitty tent."

"I won't hear them if I tear your head from your abnormally broad chest. How old are you anyway, twelve?"

Lower...

Edward ran outside and lunged for his neck.

Jacob saw Edward running towards him with rage. Hot, hot rage. Jacob stepped quickly to the side, using Edward's momentum to push the sparkly freak facedown into the snow.

"Freeze, bloodsucker," he said as he kneeled down on top of Edward's back.

"Mmet mmmf mmm!" said Edward.

"What?" said Jacob, moving his knee slightly so Edward could talk.

"Get off me!" Edward repeated.

"Why don't you get off?"

"WHAT? And while we're at it, what is the deal with your fantasies? Were you picturing my face?"

"Oh, come on, why would I do that?"

"I don't know, maybe because I'm handsome and experienced. Plus I have what you want."

Jacob thought for a moment. "Have you really been watching my thoughts."

"Yes," Edward admitted. "They're hard to avoid."

"Even now? Are you watching them now?"

Edward listened to Jacob's mind, imagining Edward standing in front of him.

"Yes, I can see what you're thinking."

Jacob leaned closer, his mouth against his ear. "How about now?"  
Edward saw them kiss, their clothes falling to the floor.

"Yes."

"And?" Jacob said, flipping Edward over to face him.

"Yes."

_Enjoyed reading? Write a review! More to come, check back in three days. _


	2. Act 2

Act Two

"Not too loud, Seth will hear us."

"No, he's running around out there it'll be fine."  
"What about Bella?"  
"Fuck Bella."

"You want to?"

"No! That's inappropriate, she's sleeping. Now shut up."

Jacob ran his hands through Edwards hair, noticing how soft and non-wolf-like it was. He gripped his head and brought it to his waist. Holding it inches away from where his manhood throbbed with desire.

Edward couldn't tell what were his thoughts and what were Jacob's. All he knew was that right here, right now, this was going to happen. And it would be awesome. His fingers deftly undid Jacob's pants and yanked them down, grabbing his butt with his hands.

Jacob inhaled sharply. "Christ your hands are cold."

"And you smell like a dog in heat."

"Want me to tell you how you smell?"

Edward didn't answer, just brought Jacob's long hard cock into his mouth. Jacob's thoughts finally stopped. It was a pleasant moment, besides the smell.

Jacob moaned and leaned back, but it was only minutes before his mind ticked back into gear. What's cold and sucks? Space? A vacuum cleaner in winter? A horny penguin?

"You feel like you just ate an icecream," said Jacob.

Edward moved back and smiled. "Good choice, I don't like being compared to a horny penguin."

"And I'd prefer to keep some masculinity here and avoid cold-induced shrinkage" said Jacob, pulling Edward up and gesturing towards the small tent, half buried in a snow drift.

"I said it would be inappropriate Jacob" growled Edward.

"Would it be that bad if she woke up".

"Yes...no. Well, actually yes. Would you be uncomfortable if you woke up to your boyfriend fucking your best friend? In a tiny tent?" Edward asked.

Jacob's thoughts drifted to him and Edward, naked next to Bella. If she opened her eyes, what would she do? He imagined her surprise and... delight? Edward acknowledged that he'd heard Jacob with a small nod. They moved towards the tent.

Inside the tent Edward stripped off his now damp clothes and vaguely noticed Jacob's thoughts grow silent. Then he felt hot, very hot, lips wrap around his cock and suck. No problems with shrinkage there. In fact, quite the opposite. He was longer and harder than he had ever been. And his whole body was like stone.

Suddenly Jacob stopped and stood up. "I don't know where this is all coming from."

"Fucked if I know. It's pretty random."

"I kind of like it though."

"A lot. I don't feel like I'm going to accidentally kill you."

"Exactly."

They kissed with a force that would bruise normal lips, and fell to the floor, both silently wrangling to be on top.

Jacob's muscular chest and arms looked overpowering, but Edwards were rigged with steel and had far more practice. They were an even match.

Lips locked they wrestled. Edward growing drunk with desire and passion. He traced a trail of kisses down the line of Jacob's chin and stopped at the neck, opening his mouth wide to bite. As his teeth made contact with the soft skin of Jacob's throat he was suddenly aware of a new thought. Jacob's was thinking loudly that this was not going to end well.

Edward stopped, wishing he didn't have to.

"If anyone's going to do any biting, I think it should be me," said Jacob.

"I'd like to see you try," said Edward, thinking of his stoney skin.

Jacob knew opportunities like this don't come often. He pushed Edward back and started with the neck. No luck, his human teeth just couldn't make a dent.

On to the collarbone, shoulder, nipple, second nipple, hip, butt. He bit as hard as he could. Not so much as a scratch.

By this stage Edward was moaning and Jacob knew he'd have to shut him up. Otherwise Bella would wake up. He occupied Edward's mouth with his own. Jacob swapped his mouth for his hand as he twisted around behind Edward. Knowing what response he would get, Jacob bit all the way down Edwards spine. Edward arched his back involuntarily and leant forwards.

Jacob took him from behind, thrusting deeply.

That's when Bella woke up.


	3. Act 3

Act Three

"Jacob? Edward! What's going on? Are you guys fighting? Stop fighting! Where are your clothes? You ARE fighting, aren't you? HEY! Can't you guys stop it for just one second? Where are your clothes."

"Oh crap," said Jacob looking over his shoulder at a dazed and confused Bella.

"You're awake," said Edward pulling away and facing her too. "You should be keeping this dog on a leash."

"Are you cold Bella?" asked Jacob.

"What? A little, but that's hardly the point right now. Where are your clothes?"

"Never mind about that. I'll warm you up." Jacob jumped in the sleeping bag next to Bella.

"None of that," said Edward. "I don't trust you naked." Edward jumped in too.

What an intimate sleeping bag it was, there was no potential for sleeping at all. This was a good chance to find out what happens when fire and ice combine. It melts. And gets all wet.

Edward kissed Bella, reassuring her that it was alright. She furiously glared at Jacob who was grinning with that stupid lopsided smile.

Jacob pouted dramatically and then also kissed Bella. She felt like punching him again, but perhaps Edward would do it this time and she wouldn't break her hand. And Jacob might feel it this time.

But Edward didn't, he just started kissing Bella's neck. She started to swoon and forgot how to breathe. Was she mad for some reason? What was going on? What did it matter.

Jacob started kissing the other side of her neck, a strange hot sensation contrasting Edwards minty coolness.

The kisses continued, moving towards her collarbone and further down her chest, now she really couldn't breathe.

Then they stopped. It took a while for her to notice because her heart was racing. Slowly she looked up, and realised Edward and Jacob were kissing each other. They'd totally gapped her. What the fuck? This isn't fair. Wasn't she the object of their affections? Apparently not.

Bella stroked Edward's arm and tried to pull him towards her. Surprisingly he didn't budge. Turning her efforts to Jacob, she grabbed his neck and tried to bring his lips to hers. Again, no success.

What was going on? Bella thought, utterly bemused. Their passion was unexpected and she really wanted to be part of it.

"I'm going to take my clothes off and join you now," she said to deaf ears. She stripped anyway, nipples hardening in the cold. They would surely catch her companions' interest. She wriggled her way between their writhing bodies. Hard chests pressing her close.

Edward wanted Jacob closer and reached out to grab him.

"Ow!" cried Bella as a marble elbow clocked her across the face.

"Sorry Bella," said Edward noticing her naked presence for the first time. Looking at her breasts, nipples erect, Edward asked "are you cold?"

"Would you like my sweater?" asked Jacob, annoyed by the distraction. Bella shook her head.

"I've heard the best way to warm up is to get into a sleeping bag naked. With somebody else who is naked. Or two somebodies."

"Okay," said Edward. "If you're happy."

"Sure, happy as a clam. I can tell you guys are happy too."

"Well, you _are_ naked," said Jacob.  
Flattering, sure. But was that really the reason? Bella wasn't born yesterday. Still... if opportunity knocks...

She'd thought of them this way before, but never together. It was quite overwhelming. Where to begin? Should she take advantage of Edward's apparent good will and make a move on Jacob, or take the chance to finally get from Edward exactly what she wanted? Bella felt like she was in some kind of man forest, full of hugely tall, thick redwoods. How could a girl decide which tree to fell?

While she was deciding, Jacob and Edward were getting distracted again. And very happy. Trying to avoid bumping into Bella, Jacob was tracing his fingers down Edward's thigh and up his cock.

Edward hadn't felt so excited in a while. He wouldn't allow himself with Bella. But now, he could. He pressed into Jacob, smushing Bella. Edward grabbed Jacob's shoulders and ran his fingernails down this back, digging them in with urgency. Jacob howled in pain. What the hell bloodsucker he thought. Play nice. Jacob could feel the scratches well up with blood as they started to heal immediately. Edward lost in ecstasy was confused to feel a second pair of lips on his skin. Small, less warm lips.

"Bella, get out of the way. It's not safe here," grunted Edward.

"Mmeh, mffck moff," Jacob said around a mouthful of Edward.

"No, it's fine. I won't get hurt," said Bella, trying harder to insert herself into a more prominent position.

"Bella, please," said Edward. "Don't make this more difficult than it already is."

Jacob, desperate to get past the teasing foreplay, stood up and picked Bella's naked body up by her waist, then deposited her perfunctorily on her discarded clothes. "Get dressed, go play with Seth. Or you can watch, whatever, just stop interrupting."

"This sucks," said Bella under her breath.

"I heard that," Edward and Jacob said in unison.

Free from the fragile female, they started to fuck.

_Thanks for reading, please review. This is all we've written so far (did I mention this was co-authored by myself and another stunning writer over many bottles of wine?) If you want us to write more, you'll have to convince us with comments as we've run out of wine._


	4. Act 4

Act Four

Within the freezing fridge-like tent the figures of the two men found each other. Foreplay forgotten they came together with force, faces pressed together. They found a rhythm. First Edward's fist held Jacob's fuck-stick and his fingers barely encased it. He found it with his mouth and performed fervent, frisky and fevered fellatio. The flavour was overwhelming, and the fragrance intoxicating. Fucking was way more fun than fighting.

Every single stroke brought Jacob simmering and suddenly, he suc**cum**bed, spurting semen like special sauce running down Edward's clean shaven chin. "Should I stop?" Edward thought to himself. He decided against it, shoving himself inside his once nemesis. With sweat slipping over his strong shoulders, his stick smoothly entered Jacob's secluded and secret spaces. He started to slam in staccato. Stunned, Bella stared at the sight.

Moaning, Jacob's muscles arched and moved in symphony with Edward's member. "More," he muttered. "Make me cum again."  
"Mmmm..." mumbled Edward. "Maybe this is what 'it' should always be made of," he thought "Manly men, making mojo. Why have I been masquerading with Bella? Her mounds were not as magical." Jacob had no thoughts, merely moments of intense and mounting madness. Mmmm...

Edward's sparkly penis had never pierced so perfectly. Pounding powerfully it performed like a pro. He felt his pleasure peaking and pretended to ignore Bella's pissed off expression. His piece was implanted proudly and prominently in Jacob's posterior, and Bella would NOT pilfer that from him. Perhaps she would even pick up a few pointers.

Oogling Jacob's expansive back, Edward was overwhelmed and overcome with ecstasy. "Oh, oh, OH!" Edward howled out loud, and Jacob's cries joined him. OMG though Bella. Jacob's orifice opened one more time and Edward overflowed into him. The orgasm ripped through his body, augmenting every sense. When he recovered, pulling his body off Jacob, Edward turned to Bella and said, "you've been outwitted, outplayed and outlasted." "Biatch" added Jacob.

Bella wrenched open the tent fly and fled. Tripping over the mounting snow, confused and upset she tumbled to her death.

_Hope you enjoyed the alliteration and ardent fourth chapter, written across Skype and a Google doc with Frangelico and Baileys. Please review, dear readers. _


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